Armoured contact sport
slagball
Nine a side. One ball. No referee worth the name.
The ball is live, the walls score, and an opponent carried off the pitch is worth exactly as much as a goal. Build the worst club in the league into a champion — or get two seasons in and lose everything.
Free. No install, no account.
The scoreboard
Violence pays. Literally.
Every point on this board is a real rule of the match, not a marketing figure. The pitch pays you for the ball, for the walls it hits, and for the opponent who stops getting up.
10
Goal
Through the opposing goal, the ordinary way.
10
Injury
An opponent stretchered off. Same price as a goal.
2
Wall star
Five of them. Light all five and the bonus lands.
2
Bounce dome
The ball comes back off it at an angle nobody chose.
×2
Multiplier
One shared spectrum of lights. Take it back before you light it.
90s
Per half
Two halves, and a stoppage every time a body goes down.
Five ways in
Pick your season
The same match under five different amounts of pressure.
League
Fourteen match days in a division of eight. Win 10 table points, draw 5, and take a bonus point for every 10 you put on the scoreboard — so a cautious 1-0 is worth less than a violent draw.
Cup
Four rounds, each one home and away, aggregate decides. A bigger bank, a shorter rope.
Knockout
A ladder of opponents that only gets worse. Nothing is saved, nothing is forgiven: one defeat ends the run.
Practice
The pitch, the ball, the ramps and nobody to stop you. Where curling throws stop being an accident.
Two player
One code, one friend, one match. The two devices run the same simulation and only trade intents — there is no game server anywhere.
The pitch fights back
Everything bolted to the arena wants a piece of the ball
Five families of fixture, and none of them are decoration.
Wall stars
Five lightable targets on the side walls, two points each and a bonus for the full set. They stay lit for whoever hit them.
Bounce domes
Floor bumpers worth two points a hit. They also return the ball on a line neither team asked for.
Multiplier ramps
Roll the ball through and the shared spectrum shifts one light your way. Two lights doubles everything you score — including the injury you were about to cause.
Electro pads and warp gates
A charged ball knocks down whoever it touches. A warp gate takes it off one wall and spits it out of the other, at speed, behind your defence.
Coins and tokens
Coins are worth nothing on the scoreboard and everything in the gym. Tokens buy six seconds where the rules bend: frozen opponents, maxed ratings, a squad nobody can tackle.
Controls
One stick. One button. That is the whole interface.
Built for a phone held in two hands, and it does not pretend otherwise. Arrows or WASD and the space bar on a desktop.
Tap to release
A quick pass, along the ground, to the player the stick is pointing at.
Hold to launch
Charge past 65% and the ball leaves in an arc. Keep steering after the throw and it curls.
Off the ball, it tackles
The same button. Speed and power decide whether the opponent stumbles, falls, or leaves on a stretcher.
Selection follows the play
You keep the player you are steering. A teammate who receives takes control the instant the ball lands.
Between matches
The club is a spreadsheet with a body count
Twelve players, eight ratings each, one bank account, and two seasons to make it work.
The gym
Aggression costs 5 credits a point, most ratings 10, stamina, speed and intelligence 15. Twelve players and eight ratings is a lot of points to buy.
The transfer market
A star player costs a fee plus one of your own. It opens roughly one week in three, and it is usually the worse deal — building beats buying, on purpose.
The bank
A league career starts on 1,100 credits. A win pays 200 in Division 2, 300 in Division 1, 500 for the championship, and the coins on the pitch pay 100 each.
The deadline
Promotion out of Division 2 in the first season, the Division 1 title in the second. Miss either and the career is over — there is no third season to fix it in.
The league
Sixteen clubs. Yours is the worst one.
Two divisions of eight. The Rustbelt Underdogs are bottom of the table with every rating between 28 and 42, and the champions are waiting one division above.
Division 2
Rustbelt Underdogs
Bottom of the table. The club everyone underrates.
Your club
Scrapyard Sentinels
A bodyguard welded from whatever was left.
DEFSTA
Static Wolves
Fast on paper, unpredictable on the pitch.
SPD
Bluecollar Riot
No rare talent. No intention of letting go either.
AGRPOW
Copperline Grinders
A defence that wears you down more than it stops you.
DEFSTA
Dustbowl Raiders
They hit hard, they hit often, they rarely hit right.
POWAGR
Junkyard Howlers
A pack that makes up for experience with spite.
No weak spot
Fringe Circuit
More plans than means to run them.
INT
Under the armour
The same match, calculated the same way, everywhere
The rules are one pure Dart library with no engine inside it, and that is not an implementation detail — it is what makes the game playable against someone else.
Deterministic by contract
A fixed 60 Hz tick, a seeded generator, no wall clock and no platform trigonometry. The same seed and the same inputs produce the same match, to the bit.
No game server
Two-player runs in lockstep between the two devices: both of them simulate the match and only intents cross the wire. Nothing central to go down, nothing to shut off later.
Browser is a first-class target
The whole rules suite runs twice — native, then compiled to JavaScript — against the same pinned expectations, because a browser int is a double and arithmetic that overflows had to be rewritten to survive it.
Rendering never decides
The client draws the state and forwards the stick. Every rule that matters lives in the simulation, and it is tested on its own.
The ball is already charged.
It runs in the browser. Nothing to install, nothing to sign up for, nothing to buy.
Play slagballBest with the phone in both hands and the sound on.